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Song Parodies -> "Congress Smells"
Original Song Title:
"Jingle Bells"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Congress Smells"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
Gridlock in the 112th US Congress is unparalleled since President Harry S. Truman declared the 80th a "Do-nothing Congress" enroute to his election in 1948. In addition, alleged securities trading based on foreknowledge of legislation and regulations, by both members and lobbyists for hedge-fund managers, is making millions of Americans furious. My OS source was sheet music attributed to 19th-century American composer James Pierpont.
Crashing through tax dough in a perverse groping way,
They more de-fi-cits grow, staffing E.P.A.
Now swells the lobbying, taking spears from Right.
What cunning this: insiders swing stock trading, out of sight.
CHORUS:
Congress hauls; Congress mauls; Congress' balls? No way.
Oh, what fun it is to stride in the Congress halls today. Hey!
Congress galls; Congress stalls; Congress calls delay.
Oh, what fun it is to hide, inside Congress' walls to stay. Aye!
Each day it's true, I know a lot's at stake inside;
I'll soon miss Fannie Mae, unseated by Right tide.
Of course I leaned on rank, and fortunately got
A shot at new stock, lifted bank where my account is hot.
[Chorus]
Now the groundswell's Right, though Left's bile is flung.
Shaken world's new fright: can Spring be straying wrong?
Just yet my job's stale drag; new fortune's born of greed.
We're switching crews to open gay, and crack's replacing weed.
[Chorus]
They more de-fi-cits grow, staffing E.P.A.
Now swells the lobbying, taking spears from Right.
What cunning this: insiders swing stock trading, out of sight.
CHORUS:
Congress hauls; Congress mauls; Congress' balls? No way.
Oh, what fun it is to stride in the Congress halls today. Hey!
Congress galls; Congress stalls; Congress calls delay.
Oh, what fun it is to hide, inside Congress' walls to stay. Aye!
Each day it's true, I know a lot's at stake inside;
I'll soon miss Fannie Mae, unseated by Right tide.
Of course I leaned on rank, and fortunately got
A shot at new stock, lifted bank where my account is hot.
[Chorus]
Now the groundswell's Right, though Left's bile is flung.
Shaken world's new fright: can Spring be straying wrong?
Just yet my job's stale drag; new fortune's born of greed.
We're switching crews to open gay, and crack's replacing weed.
[Chorus]
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| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
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bounces right along with clever subs and lines...especially like the third stanza.
Thanks, AFW and voters. I should have said somewhere "Congress falls" (in polls), perhaps instead of "hauls" (tax revenue) or "mauls" (the economy).
Congress squalls, Congress bawls--got nothing to say. . . Nicely said; rightly said.
Sums up this Congress perfectly. Exempt from the laws that sent Martha Stewart to prison. Operating on temporary stop gap resolutions, ceding power to the President and the bureaucracy. Worthless. Please spell out the chorus, the parodies read smoother, even if you are using a repeating chorus. Reader doesn't have to shift back and forth.
Thanks, John & Patrick (who always catches me when I try to save space).
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