Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
Song Parodies -> "Onward, Martha Stewart"
Original Song Title:
"Onward, Christian Soldiers"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Onward, Martha Stewart"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
Martha Stewart did prison time for lying about an alleged 'insider' stock sale. Her release on March 4, 2005 held promise of new TV shows. For original words, visit http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/o/n/onwardcs.htm or http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh575.sht or any pre-PC hymnal.
Onward, Martha Stewart, marching out jail's door
With the gloss to please us as she did before.
Donald Trump, the master, needs her sense and glow;
Forward into boardrooms, see her manners go.
[Refrain (first two lines, different melody)]
Like a mighty army, droves she nurtured plod;
Mothers, owners dreading any taint of fraud.
We are now delighted that she will be free;
Done time moping stock trading's one disparity.
[Refrain]
CEOs may parachute, fiefdoms rise and wane;
But her Omnimedia constant will remain.
Gates of prison never 'gainst it can prevail;
We have Martha's promise that she will not fail.
[Refrain]
Onward, then, ye novices, join her snappy throng;
Blend with hers your choices that are never wrong.
She'll regain her honor, and to us will bring
Online countless pages, many a Good Thing.
[Refrain]
With the gloss to please us as she did before.
Donald Trump, the master, needs her sense and glow;
Forward into boardrooms, see her manners go.
[Refrain (first two lines, different melody)]
Like a mighty army, droves she nurtured plod;
Mothers, owners dreading any taint of fraud.
We are now delighted that she will be free;
Done time moping stock trading's one disparity.
[Refrain]
CEOs may parachute, fiefdoms rise and wane;
But her Omnimedia constant will remain.
Gates of prison never 'gainst it can prevail;
We have Martha's promise that she will not fail.
[Refrain]
Onward, then, ye novices, join her snappy throng;
Blend with hers your choices that are never wrong.
She'll regain her honor, and to us will bring
Online countless pages, many a Good Thing.
[Refrain]
Permission is given to use this parody for pleasure and/or profit, provided credit and email notice are given to Barry J. Mitchel at bjmitchel@att.net .
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
The only thing funny here was the footnote, giving permission to use this "parody" for pleasure or profit. You better give some pointers how to accomplish either. Extra credit for ego awarded only thing that kept this from lower marks
Phil Harris, Tom Lehrer, Allan Sherman, Studs Terkel & Garrison Keillor all profit(ed) from musical parodies; but they're too smart to give them away free, unlike us. Send an email and I'll explain why humor is not the only good quality of a parody. But if you crave humor, try misc/peggylee7 or misc/jostafford0 or 60s/thecastofthemusicaloklahoma0, 1, or 2, or 60s/thefantasticks0. I take a risk that you'll bomb them as you did here. If you sing these in public and people drop money, keep it, but let me know.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/traditional1201.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
[an error occurred while processing this directive]