Oh, wish another suit brand I had gotten
Speedos™ got no pad-ding cotton!
Look away! Won't display, it this way!
Pixie gland!

This sor-ry state that I wuz born in's
Worse by far on fros-ty mornins'
Look away! Won't display, it this way!
Pixie gland!

I've tried to stretch my thing-y!
No way! José!
No chicks 'we' land—I'll take my gland
And sur-ger-ize it slick-ly!
They'll flay! I'll pay, and prey it ain't so sickly!
Hooray! Moray! It surveys aw-f'ly
Thick-ly!

~~~

So, off to Holly-wierd I got a trottin'
Soon an agent was a spottin'
My buffet! Holdin' "sway"! What's it weigh
Hick-seed man?

Turns out that he's a kind'a por-no founder
Scoutin' dudes with for-ty pounders
Right away, my caché, they portray!
"Dick-see" man!

Then soon wuz starrin' "big" time!
Three-way, soiree's!
And when my "span" got hot in Cannes
I moved to France with Nikki
Risqué's, passé! I've gotten out of "sticky"
"Dees-nay", now pays!
I'm workin' as
French Mickey!

~ Oui, Oui! ~