On top of old Smokey
You drove your red car,
He once was a good cop,
Now he’s part of the tar.

Now, speeding’s a bad habit,
Tailgating is grief;
But a bleeping drunk driver
Is worse than a thief.

The cops will arrest you,
They lost their comrade,
And you’ll sure lose your license,
Too much vodka you had!

Now His Honor might jail you
And fine you he must;
And impound your Mercedes
‘Til it’s covered with rust.

You'll tell him you’re sorry,
It’ll do you no good.
You’re the most deadly driver
In our neighborhood.

So, come all you bad drivers
And listen to me,
Keep your eyes on the pavement,
Ignore the damn eye candy!

Better get off your cellphone,
Put your paper away,
Or you'll crash your Mercedes,
And boy, you will pay.

Look out for old Smokey
And for goodness sake,
Next to the gas pedal,
That thing’s called a brake!