(Ghosts booing “Jingle Bells”)

I saw Mommy staking Dracula
Here in Transylvania last night
Awakened from his sleep
Reached his arm… to grab a Reece
Mom thought that I was outside
in my costume, trick or treat

Then, I saw Mommy garlic Dracula
Staked him in his chest, so snowy white
Oh, what a fright it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy staking Dracula last niiiiight.

*Ghosts singing*
I-iiiii saw Mommy kicking Draaaaaaaculaaaa
Just befoooore his bat form took a fliiiiight

His costume looked dirt cheap
Like he stole it from the Veep
His accent was so bad
Made Costner look like Meryl Streep

*Ghosts singing*
Then, I-iiii saw Mommy wrestle Draaaaaculaaaaaa
His eye sockets were no longer whiiiiite

Oh, Abe Van Helsing, where you been?
Wish someone else would’ve seen
Mommy staking Dracula last niiiiight

(Ghosts booing “Jingle Bells”, bell tolls)