Song Parodies -> "Cat-Slash the Jet-Black Jaguar (A South American Xmas Tale)"

Original Song Title:

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Original Performer:

"Cat-Slash the Jet-Black Jaguar (A South American Xmas Tale)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

From the warped mind of Rob Arndt- how Xmas might be seen through the eyes of S American children w/o the old Germanic traditional Xmas influence. An indigenous version!

Cat-Slash the jet-black Jaguar
Had a very scary growl,
And if you ever heard it,
You would soon loosen your bowels!

South American children’s fears
Where drugs and anarchy reigns;
They never stopped fierce Cat-Slash
From joining the Magic Llama Train

Then one horrid Christmas Eve,
Santana came to say:
"Cat-Slash, with your teeth so sharp,
Won't you guard my laden cart?"

But a drug lord tried to stop them,
AKs drawn amidst her pleas,
"Cat-Slash the jet-black Jaguar,
Attack them NOW and you will feast!!!”

[Added verse and last lines]

Xmas Day kids got two treats,
Lots of food and medicine,
Santana looted the thugs,
Got cocaine and lots of guns!

Cat-Slash preys on evil ones,
Cat-Slash loved by everyone!

Feliz Navidad!

Notes: In this scenario, Santa is replaced by female Santana which means "Saintly" and the sleigh replaced by a massive cart pulled not by magic reindeer but magic pack animals- llamas. Instead of presents the kids recieve food and medical aid on Xmas Day- the most precious gifts of all in Third World nations. Feliz Navidad is Spanish for "Merry Christmas." I chose the Jaguar as guardian b/c it is the most revered animal in S America and sacred to shamans.

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Patrick - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment

Someone ought to do a cartoon of this.

Rob Arndt - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment

Patrick, what are you talking about? I wanna do a painting of this and hang it in my office! I have ideas as conceptual visualizer for a storyline for a children's book AND a comic book series!!!

Rob Arndt - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment

I woudl base Santana off Goddess Ixchel: http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/4f0/ab5/4f0ab595-fa4e-4574-a983-f61f80e8c308

M. Knight Shaman - December 26, 2013 - Report this comment

My Columbian relatives loved this. Deserving of the ratings 5!

Jennifer Lynne - December 26, 2013 - Report this comment

Very creative and Me-ouch! 5/5/5

Rob Arndt - December 26, 2013 - Report this comment

Thanks people for this earlier work. I sketched the story on paper but need a graphic illustrator to do it professionally. I think this would make a neat children's book minus the drug lords and AKs. Still working that clean version out studying S American gods, their cultures, and symbols. The jaguar is revered and IMHO a much better character than Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. I replaced Prussian-influenced Santa with Santana based of the goddess Ixchel. The occult has a strong influence in S America. "Fun-magic" is for Europe and N America :)

Rob Arndt - November 30, 2015 - Report this comment

For those that like my "Santa Mon" parody, here's another foreign Xmas tale!

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