When the knees an’ bottoms start to fray
Pants to me…must obey
He’s a lazy oaf an’ wags the chore
When they’re sewn…“Here’s some more”

From the kitchen, fetchin’ ham an’ peas
“Tend to me”…“Tray of cheese”
“Babybel, but no Chimay or Brie”
“Cake for me”…“Make the tea”

“Do the dishes an’ then mop the floor”
“Bring all them pies to me, and a brew”
“Off of work; it’s a magic sick week”
“When I say, you go seek”

“Come an’ clear the mound of lager tins”
“From the floor”…“To the bins”
“Light the grill, for now I need to chow”
“Feed me moose”…“Feed me cow”

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Odder partners I’ve not had before
Soon on my arm will be someone new
PS2: he’s a tragic tech geek
When he play, I no speak

“I can feel the pound of rollin’ pins”
“On my jaw”…“An’ my shins”
“Now I squeal jus’ like a wounded sow”
“Chips my tooth”…“Rips my brow”

“You crow now”
“Chipped my tooth”…“Ripped my brow”