Song Parodies -> "Shoppin' Around for Christmas Trees"

Original Song Title:

"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Shoppin' Around for Christmas Trees"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Shoppin' around
For Christmas trees
At the strip mall parking lot--
A**hole wants fifty bucks for these
When they're all worth diddly-squat!

Shoppin' around
For Christmas trees
What a crappy holiday--
Pagan traditions everywhere
WTF would Jesus say?

I'll admit to sentimental feelings
Now and then--
Eggnog spiked with aged Hornitos,
Tur-
Key wrapped in crushed Doritos!

But shoppin' around
For Christmas trees,
Got the bungies in my car--
Rather be writing parodies
Or be stumblin' out the bar!

Finally found
A Christmas tree
Cost me less than my nutsack--
Junior is happy as can be,
Guess the kid's meal must have crack!

What a freakin' mess it makes all over
The damn house!
Needles! Sap! The carpet's muddy!
Gag
Me with a dildo, buddy!

Choppin' it down,
That Christmas tree
On December 26--
Maybe I'll learn some Punjabi,
And I'll make
Next
Christ-
Mas Sikh!

©Bob "Still Barackin' Around the Christmas" Gomez 2015

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Rob Arndt - December 01, 2015 - Report this comment

Tannenbaum problems, Bob? Blame the Germans for the tradition! Pagan Germans worshipped the Oak tree for strength, but Christianity taught them to substitute an evergreen whose triangular shape represents the Trinity. The Germans decorated with festive edibles and it was lit by candles, but over time has morphed into that Hallmark ornament bearing and electric light tangled web behemoth. Douglas For, anyone? 555!

Rob - December 01, 2015 - Report this comment

* Douglas Fir (damn Spellchecker)!

Bob Gomez - December 01, 2015 - Report this comment

Informative as always, Rob. And I suppose these days it's entirely possible for a Douglas to have fur.

Patrick - December 01, 2015 - Report this comment

I think Jesus would quote Jeremiah 10:1-5. Don't follow the fads of the pagans. Don't be afraid of the natural signs in the heavens, even though the foreigners may be. Their ways are foolish. They cut a tree in the forest, shape it with tools and secure it with hammer and nails so it won't fall over. Just like a scarecrow in the field, their gods cannot speak. They must be carried because they can't walk. Don't be afraid of them. They can not hurt you. Nor can they help you. As for writing parodies, you should definitely concentrate on where your strength lies. This is wonderful in so many ways. Perfectly paced. Liked the Jesus line. Can't wait till next year to see how your Sikh Christmas turns out.

Jonathan - December 01, 2015 - Report this comment

Tree 5's

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