You can't help but play with yourself.
PLEASURE!
You're not like anybody else.
PLEASURE!
What is this phenomena called planned parenthood?
You never got to first base.
You just want to cop a feel.
You go to town, haste makes waste.
Get a grip and squeal with,
PLEASURE!

Now Playboy has you overjoyed.
PLEASURE!
Oh, screaming heavens to mergetroyd.
PLEASURE!
You turned those pornos into some visual aid.
Now here you are out of shape.
With your Peewee herman vice.
You have vaseline just in case.
And you've got a handle on PLEASURE!

You're no Deuce Bigalo male gigolo.
Stroke one, stroke two its touch and go.
All your life was Archie comics,
Banana splits, where are the chicks?

PLEASURE!
If you want those girls cast a spell.
But here you are out of shape.
With your Peewee Herman vice.
You have vaseline just in case.
And you've got a handle on PLEASURE!
PLEASURE! PLEASURE!
Four, three, two one
PLEASURE!