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Song Parodies -> "Kennedy"
Original Song Title:
"Timothy"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Buoys
Parody Song Title:
"Kennedy"
Parody Written by:
blackjack21
The Lyrics
I started working on this last week. Unfortunately, an out of town death in the family kept me from getting it posted in a timelier manner. So the appearance of any respect for the dead senator from Massachusetts is purely accidental. Let’s just say that I won’t be rushing out to buy my “TK for Sainthood” bumper sticker any time soon.
Flappin' a line, a fat knave been
And sadly votes show no hope we were left
You blow, you leech, we're grim
Aliens get it all for free
We sadly must tell just how you failed:
Se-cur-i-ty 1
Kennedy, Kennedy, glad you no lon-ger vote
Kennedy, Kennedy, clod you can't say no!
Ted, what the hell, no guns for me? 2
And no said what ye to make En-glish
The lang-uage that gov. speaks 3
Whiskey enough, you drink for two
And Jo said to thee, "Look out the bridge!"
And then there was just you 4
Kennedy, Kennedy, Jo was screaming at you!
Kennedy, Kennedy, Ted what did you do?
Self pro-claimed de-vout Cath-o-lic man
But your voting would tell it more plain-ly 5
All the votes that you made back then
And people spew bull of legacy
But nobody ever should get ‘round
To saint-ing Kennedy
Kennedy, Kennedy, just how low did you go?
Kennedy, Kennedy, oh I think God knows!
Kennedy...No…Kennedy…
And sadly votes show no hope we were left
You blow, you leech, we're grim
Aliens get it all for free
We sadly must tell just how you failed:
Se-cur-i-ty 1
Kennedy, Kennedy, glad you no lon-ger vote
Kennedy, Kennedy, clod you can't say no!
Ted, what the hell, no guns for me? 2
And no said what ye to make En-glish
The lang-uage that gov. speaks 3
Whiskey enough, you drink for two
And Jo said to thee, "Look out the bridge!"
And then there was just you 4
Kennedy, Kennedy, Jo was screaming at you!
Kennedy, Kennedy, Ted what did you do?
Self pro-claimed de-vout Cath-o-lic man
But your voting would tell it more plain-ly 5
All the votes that you made back then
And people spew bull of legacy
But nobody ever should get ‘round
To saint-ing Kennedy
Kennedy, Kennedy, just how low did you go?
Kennedy, Kennedy, oh I think God knows!
Kennedy...No…Kennedy…
1. Voted YES on allowing illegals to participate in Social Security.(May 2006)
2. Ted Kennedy has been a staunch supporter of gun control initiatives. In 2006 he was one of the 16 senators who voted AGAINST the Vitter Amendment, which prohibited the confiscation of legally-possessed firearms during a disaster.
3. Voted NO on declaring English the official language of the US government. (Jun 2007)
4. The well known Chappaquiddick incident, is also know known the Mary Jo Kopechne investigation. This investigation was opened when an overturned car was found at Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts, in the water and Ms. Kopechne's body was in the car. Ms. Kopechne was a former secretary to late Senator, Robert F. Kennedy. It was determined the driver of the automobile was Senator Edward M. Kennedy. It was alleged he was on the wrong road and drove off Dike's Bridge, with the automobile overturning in the water. Senator Kennedy managed to get out of the car, but Ms. Kopechne did not make it out of the car and drowned.
5. (a) Kennedy is one of only five senators who have publicly announced support for same-sex marriage.
(b) He voted AGAINST the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act, so not only does he approve of abortion, he also approves of torturing those aborted in the process.
Both of the above are in direct opposition to the beliefs and teaching of the Catholic Church that Kennedy claimed to be a devout follower of. Small wonder the Pope ignored him in his dying days.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
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| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 11 | 11 |
User Comments
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Perfect eulogy to a man who could have saved a dozen starving cannibal children from starvation.
Errra, fitin litl ditty for Teddy...fivas
Gee, why would Ted Kennedy ever support gun control? I can't even imagine why. Maybe we could ask his brothers. Don't worry, where you're going, you'll never meet him. But maybe you can get Ronald Reagan to turn on the air-conditioning there. Guess what: There ain't none.
Not gun control, confiscating legally possessed firearms from law-abiding citizens. That's called unconstitutional stealing. Besides, we should probably focus on motor vehicle control, since they kill far more people than guns do. Just ask Teddy boy the next time you see him, since you're so sure about where everyone is going.
*Very* sorry to hear of the death in the family. FG and myself have been carrying the ball for you until your return, as you can see from yesterday's, today's, and probably tomorrow's posts.. Join the Ewwww-logizer's club! 555
@ Michael Pacholek: Guns don't kill people, Ted Kennedy kills people.
How is HE not going down below for manslaughter, DUI/fatal, and leaving the scene of a fatal accident? I don't think the Kennedy's special influence reaches that far, even with Papa already down there. But we'll talk about Pop tomorrow.
The killers of his brothers were
1) executed by a Mob associate, when JFK failed to re-take Cuba so that the Mob could get its casinos back, which he promised that he'd do if they'd use their influence, especially in Capone Town (Chicago) to swing the crucial state of Illinois; and
2) Sentenced to life imprisonment.
So they paid their debt to society, or had it paid without their consent. Teddy got a two-month suspended sentence and a six-month driver's license suspension. Perhaps if he'd done 20 years in prison, as anyone else would have for the same crimes, we'd not feel the need to bring up the "facts" (does that word sound familiar?), as we did yesterday in "Chappaquiddick"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/traditional1698.shtml
, and again today in "Ode to Mary Jo"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/bobbiegentry7.shtml
Check them out.... Oops, I forgot, Liberals don't care about "facts". Guess I wasted all of this typing.
@ Michael Pacholek: Guns don't kill people, Ted Kennedy kills people.
How is HE not going down below for manslaughter, DUI/fatal, and leaving the scene of a fatal accident? I don't think the Kennedy's special influence reaches that far, even with Papa already down there. But we'll talk about Pop tomorrow.
The killers of his brothers were
1) executed by a Mob associate, when JFK failed to re-take Cuba so that the Mob could get its casinos back, which he promised that he'd do if they'd use their influence, especially in Capone Town (Chicago) to swing the crucial state of Illinois; and
2) Sentenced to life imprisonment.
So they paid their debt to society, or had it paid without their consent. Teddy got a two-month suspended sentence and a six-month driver's license suspension. Perhaps if he'd done 20 years in prison, as anyone else would have for the same crimes, we'd not feel the need to bring up the "facts" (does that word sound familiar?), as we did yesterday in "Chappaquiddick"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/traditional1698.shtml
, and again today in "Ode to Mary Jo"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/bobbiegentry7.shtml
Check them out.... Oops, I forgot, Liberals don't care about "facts". Guess I wasted all of this typing.
Totally immersed in your creativity here, BJ21!
BJ21... so sorry to hear of your loss. Glad to have you back-- and with such fine and gutsy commentary! DKTOS, so I didn't vote, but you *do* have my support! As for MP, "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."
@ MP: "where you're going, you'll never meet him." You mean you won't introduce us? Pity.
@ MP: "where you're going, you'll never meet him." You mean you won't introduce us? Pity.
OS is rather gruesome - as was this tragedy. Hint: Patrick's comment re: "starving cannibal..." ... doesn't get much airplay these days, but in a weird way, I like it... sorta like a fictionalized Donner Party. Look it up, or I can point you to it.
Another fitting TK tribute - 555. Why is he so revered? Nice OS to use - I need to do with that song someday, since I am Timmy1000
Many thanks to *almost* all of you for votes, comments and condolences. :-) It's great to be back amongst some of the most insightful and funny people I know. Special thanks to Charlton Heston for dropping by. ;-D
i love the parody and i love tommy turtles comments bout guns dont kill people, teddy kennedy does. right on right on. organize organize organize, oh wait, the memorial hasnt happened yet. . . good to have this creep gone.
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