i've got some information
that my dad requires from me
mama had a party
and her partner wasn't he
i saw them there a-fumblin'
from my look-out in the hall
i thought that they were wrestlin'
as they writhed against the wall

what humiliation
as they touched, my knees grew weak
he's a foreign one...what's he doin' here ?
mom kissed him on the cheek
his home is at the south pole
guess he had an itch
justified as vile
is this fat son-of-a-bitch

i viewed osculation
more than that, i shall not add
hornily, he kissed her
oh what a joke on dad
and when they pulled apart..oh boy
my mom looked kinda weak
i feared for our happy home
when mom kissed santa's cheek

last time i saw this heel
he was wavin' mom goodbye
he hurried off on down the street
some other dames to try
although i'm nearly six years old
i should not have seen
what he did was rude to her
yet, mom kissed santa's cheek