.There is a louse inside my jeans,
I call an "Itchin' Son-"
If they ever held olympics for hard scratch,
I'm sure I could've won

That mother is a whaler,
He sails by pubic means
And makes my life a living hell,
Down inside my jeans..

Now, the one sure thing a scratcher needs
Is Freddy Krueger's mitts
The doctor says the only real sure cure,
Is burnin' out their nits

Oh, teachers, tell your students,
When sex education's done
Keep their lives from sin and misery,
And the ouch of that itchin' son-

Well I keep one hand on the steer'n wheel
The other one goes insane
It's shreddin' up my new blue jeans,
And still, that louse remains..

Cannot stop that itch inside my jeans,
That no good itchin' son
Learned my lesson, now, no more a whore boy
These damn crabs ain't no fun..
.
These damn crabs ain't no fun..