Gouda

Gouda,
That name's so funny.
It'll make your tongue curl
If you say it like Dutch do.
Funny,
Ach, Gouda, Gouda.
You will sound like a churl.
Thank god they speak English too.

I just can't believe the clumsiness of trying to
(Makes my spume spew, eewww!).
Say it like the Dutch and even Afrikaners do
(Bruised uvula too!).

Gouda,
That name's so funny.
It'll make your tongue curl
If you say it like Dutch do.
Funny,
Ach, Gouda, Gouda
Sound like you're gonna hurl.
Or maybe you have got croup.

Epiglottis furls—
You'll find that you can hardly breathe
(Pain like when tots teethe).
Until it thunders forth,
Your trachea wants to seethe.

Oh, out it comes, and it's really guttural;
GOUDA!
Pour some Robitussin down me; or honey, honey!
Ummm! That stuff is so sweet (cough, cough, cough).
Pour some Robitussin down me; or honey, honey!
Ummm! That stuff is so sweet (cough, cough, cough).
[Repeat and fade]